3 November, 2017 03:37

3 Nov

http://reason.readysetbounce.net

Mark Brownlee

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Draft Recap

4 Sep

It’s a long way to the playoffs, but Hudson JizzWax have won the first round, winding up with the top ranked draft. Coach Jadihel Rodriguez’s squad, led by Antonio Brown, are projected to put up 97.9 points per week. That’s 5.7 points better than Crooked Senators are expected to do. Bad drafting has left Coach Julio Marenco in the unfortunate position of being projected to finish in last place.

You managed to find yourself in the middle of the pack with the 7th best draft overall. Your overall ranking was epitomized by your running backs, which were also projected to be the 7th best. That leaves you well short in that area compared to…

Miami Hustling, who have the best running backs in the league. Coach Juan Medolla can trot out LeSean McCoy, Isaiah Crowell, and Ezekiel Elliott into the starting lineup. Despite being successful overall, Hudson JizzWax are slated to bring up the rear in that area, having to rely on C.J. Anderson and Terrance West. Coach Rodriguez <gender2|5a77af62-f773-11e1-b3fa-22382465ee4b|does,does,do> have a decent excuse for that roster hole though, given that they had the 4th most difficult path through the draft.</gender2|5a77af62-f773-11e1-b3fa-22382465ee4b|does,does,do>

You have far less to complain about when it comes to draft difficulty, winding up with the 5th most value available to you. You had the good fortune to see players like Tyler Eifert, Travis Kelce, and Coby Fleener at points in the draft where our projections suggested they shouldn’t have lasted.

Looking at individual picks, we thought NJ Gunslingers made the best move by drafting Eifert in the 125th slot. He was expected to have been selected a full 63 picks earlier. On the other hand, Crooked Senators made the worst move of the draft. Coach Marenco surprised everybody by choosing Drew Brees with the 21st pick — a, well, brave decision.

Your best pickup of the draft was Coby Fleener, who we thought should have been selected around the 101st slot, but who you got with pick #158. Not all of your picks were superb, however, as you also selected Jamaal Charles, whose projections suggested that he should have gone undrafted.

Key Games This Season
Week 7 This Is the week that you’ll take on Coach Rodriguez and the top ranked Hudson JizzWax
Week 10 We thought not picking Tyler Eifert was your biggest missed opportunity in the draft. He’ll have a chance to make you pay when you play NJ Gunslingers
Week 11 You will be at a bit of a disadvantage in your contest against Big Ole TD’s, as we calculate this being your toughest week to deal with player byes
Your Path Through the Draft
True Point Value Available to You 420.60 5th Most
True Point Value* Drafted by You 309.37 7th Most
Percentage of Possible Points Drafted 74% 4th Best

*True Point Value takes into account injury risk and the players already on your team to determine the additional value any given player adds to your team, compared to a replacement level player

Teams
Team Draft Grade Projected Points Per Week
Hudson JizzWax A+ 97.93
Suck My WoodHead B 97.33
Big Ole TD’s A- 97.31
NJ Gunslingers B 97.28
North Bergen Desnudas B 96.83
Miami Hustling B- 96.83
Empire State Furry Ferrets B 96.57
Hopelawn Maulers B 94.48
You Bet Thank You C- 94.10
Pascack Pimp’n C- 93.88
HoboKnights D 92.85
Crooked Senators D 92.26
Players Drafted
Player Pick Number Value Above Replacement Value vs Pick# Avg. True Point Value
Mike Evans 11 75.86 -2.45 60.69
Jordan Howard 14 89.45 2.56 63.14
T.Y. Hilton 35 44.28 -2.56 35.42
Lamar Miller 38 51.21 0.16 36.15
Tyreek Hill 59 31.77 0.20 25.41
Ameer Abdullah 62 37.02 2.39 26.13
Marcus Mariota 83 25.86 6.78 21.91
Doug Martin 86 37.23 4.16 17.97
Jamaal Charles 107 -0.37 -6.83 0.00
DeSean Jackson 110 8.50 -3.77 2.18
Jack Doyle 131 11.07 7.05 9.12
Chiefs 134 1.94 -0.11 1.83
Mason Crosby 155 0.20 -0.40 0.18
Coby Fleener 158 11.23 8.76 9.25
Jay Cutler 179 -1.50 -0.06 0.00
Kerwynn Williams 182 -6.29 -0.03 0.00

Replacement value takes into account performance uncertainty and availability of week-to-week alternatives; True Point Value takes into account injury likelihood, bye weeks, and other players on your roster.

Your Team Positional Breakdown
Position Picks (Avg#) Draft Capital Spent (Rank) True Point Value (Rank) Grade
Quarterbacks 2 (1.83) 15.18 (10) 21.91 (7) A
Running backs 6 (4.83) 140.98 (5) 143.39 (4) B+
Wide receivers 4 (4.92) 132.29 (5) 123.70 (5) C+
Tight ends 2 (1.75) 2.55 (9) 18.37 (9) A

Draft Capital is the value of any given pick in the draft, as measured by looking at the True Point Value of the typical player available in that slot. The Draft Grade for each position is determined by looking at how much value you added given what you spent in Draft Capital.

All Team Positional Breakdown
Team QB RB WR TE
Big Ole TD’s B B B+ A-
Crooked Senators C C+ A- B+
Empire State Furry Ferrets A B+ C+ A
HoboKnights C B- D+ B+
Hopelawn Maulers D- D+ B B
Hudson JizzWax D+ B B+ B+
Miami Hustling C A+ B+ C+
NJ Gunslingers A B- B+ A-
North Bergen Desnudas B+ B+ B+ B
Pascack Pimp’n A- C+ C- A-
Suck My WoodHead A+ C C+ A-
You Bet Thank You B- C B- C-

2016 DAFL Season | XIV Championship Breakdown & Payout

16 Mar

Thursday, March 16th, 2017

dafltrophy

2016 DAFL Season | XVI Championship Breakdown & Payout

Congratulations for advancing and excelling through the 2016 Post season. As part of the XVI DAFL Championship, you are entitled to eternal bragging rights as well as a monetary prize. Please see breakdown below.

1st Place goes to Jairo, GM of the Empire State Furry Ferrets
2nd Place goes to Marco, GM of Suck My Woodhead

Score: FF 144.8 to SMW 90.7

$1680 collected for 12 DAFL subscriptions ($140.00 x 12 Teams). Below is the breakdown of fees:

  • $25.00 Trophy Plaque Fee. Reoccurring fee covers DAFL trophy cost and new plaques engraved
  • $159.99 CBSSPORTS.com Commissioner annual fee ($13.33 per team)
  • $0.00 Toilet Bowl Champion payout. We normally give money to the Toilet bowl winner, not this year
  • $70.00 3rd Place. This is the first time we are doing a 3rd place prize. The 3rd place winner will win 50% back of DAFL fee. This will go to Henry of You Bet Thank You.

The Math: 25.00 + 159.99 + 0.00 + 70.00 = $254.99 (round up to $255)
The Pot: $1680 – $255= $1425 (This will be divided between 1st and 2nd place winner)

DAFL Championship X
VI Breakdown 1st Place: 75% of $1425 = $1068.75 for Furry Ferrets
DAFL Championship XIV Breakdown 2nd Place: 25% of $1425 = $356.25 for Suck My Woodhead

Trophy: Hand made in Brooklyn by fantasytrophies.com, The DAFL trophy known as “The Hubba Bubba”, is displayed in the DAFL Headquarters located in North Bergen NJ. Jadi has yet to have his name printed on this trophy.

Thank You for participating in the DAFL. See you next season.

All the best, oh yeah, I am your daddy,

JP
DAFL Commissioner | Owner of Furry Ferrets
2012 DAFL Champions
2016 DAFL Champions

DAFL BLOG | https://dafl.wordpress.com
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2016 Ultimate Winner – Ferrets win it all

28 Dec

davidjohnson122016-528x297

David Johnson and Empire State Furry Ferrets win it all..

It’s all over now but the crying. Empire State Furry Ferrets gave Suck My WoodHead a 144.8 to 90.7 point drubbing. Empire State Furry Ferrets’ win ended Suck My WoodHead’s three game winning streak.

Empire State Furry Ferrets ended their triumphant season at 10 – 5. Suck My WoodHead will close their 2016 campaign at 11 – 4.

David Johnson and Travis Kelce were the prime movers for Empire State Furry Ferrets, delivering 29.6 and 22 points, respectively. A good performance by Kelce has been crucial for Empire State Furry Ferrets all year, as they have gone 6 – 1 when he exceeds expectations, and 2 – 4 when he doesn’t. He basically ran a three cone drill to weave through and then blow past the Denver defense for a long TD.

In addition to Johnson and Kelce, Empire State Furry Ferrets got five other good efforts, including 20.5 points from LeSean McCoy. The only real bad apple in Empire State Furry Ferrets’ orchard this week was the Bills Defense/ST, who scored 2 points. Bad performances are pretty common these days for the Bills, who have now underperformed the experts’ predictions in five straight games.

Meanwhile, Thomas Rawls stuck out as the worst performer for Suck My WoodHead, dropping only 0.8 points. Rawls is in the midst of a troubling sequence, having seen his point total fall every week for the last three weeks. Adding to their problems, Suck My WoodHead’s tight end, Vernon Davis, was the worst at his position this week.

Draft Recap

6 Sep
True football glory is months away, but Miami Hustling have given themselves the best chance of achieving it, winding up with the top ranked draft. Staying away from running backs early seems to have paid off, as Coach Juan Medolla’s team is projected to put up a league-leading 95.2 points per week. That’s 7.5 more points per week than HoboKnights are projected to come up with. Coach Kimberly Sierchio will have all year to prove us wrong, but for now, HoboKnights are slated to finish in last place.You managed to find yourself in the middle of the pack with the 5th best draft overall. Your overall ranking was epitomized by your wide receivers, which were also projected to be the 5th best. While decent in that respect, you are not in the class of…

Miami Hustling, who have the best wide receivers in the league. Coach Medolla will get to fill out the lineup card with Antonio Brown and A.J. Green. Hudson JizzWax, meanwhile, are the worst in the league in that area, with Julian Edelman and Golden Tate gracing the starting lineup. Coach Jadihel Rodriguez does have a decent excuse for that roster hole though, given that they had the most difficult path through the draft.

Speaking of draft difficulty, you had it pretty darn good, as you ended up with more value available to you than all but three other teams. You had the chance to pick players like Eli Manning, Coby Fleener, and Tyrod Taylor at points in the draft where our projections suggested they shouldn’t have lasted.

Turning to individual picks, we tapped Discount Belichick as having made the best pickup with Manning in the 131st slot. He was projected to be off the board a full 43 picks earlier. On the other hand, NJ Gunslingers made the worst move of the draft. Coach Mark Brownlee selected Dak Prescott with the 60th pick, which we pegged as a serious reach.

Your best pickup of the draft was Keenan Allen, who we thought should have been selected around the 32nd slot, but who you got with pick #44. However, you mixed in some duds as well, the worst of whom was Terrance West, taken 59 spots ahead of what his projections suggest.

Your Path Through the Draft
True Point Value Available to You 478.32 4th Most
True Point Value* Drafted by You 347.34 5th Most
Percentage of Possible Points Drafted 73% 9th Best

*True Point Value takes into account injury risk and the players already on your team to determine the additional value any given player adds to your team, compared to a replacement level player

Teams
Team Draft Grade Projected Points Per Week
Miami Hustling A+ 95.21
Big Ole TD’s B+ 94.30
Suck My WoodHead A 94.19
Crooked Senators B 92.32
Empire State Furry Ferrets B- 91.95
Discount Belichick C 91.72
You Bet Thank You B 91.63
North Bergen Desnudas B 91.26
Hopelawn Maulers C 91.18
Hudson JizzWax B 90.79
NJ Gunslingers D+ 89.60
HoboKnights D 87.71
Players Drafted
Player Pick Number Value Above Replacement Value vs Pick# Avg. True Point Value
David Johnson 5 116.55 0.00 82.27
LeSean McCoy 20 73.70 -5.48 52.02
Mike Evans 29 73.20 7.00 58.56
Keenan Allen 44 62.91 9.13 50.33
Travis Kelce 53 29.13 -11.75 23.99
Eric Decker 68 44.21 5.99 35.37
Terrance West 77 5.08 -19.56 2.74
Charles Sims 92 31.30 1.49 16.87
Philip Rivers 101 20.93 6.83 17.73
Mason Crosby 116 -0.57 -5.68 0.00
Julius Thomas 125 12.11 1.82 4.93
Reggie Bush 140 -43.58 -2.16 0.00
Charcandrick West 149 -16.08 -1.06 0.00
Brock Osweiler 164 3.42 0.20 0.46
Chris Johnson 173 5.54 2.06 2.07
Bills 188 -0.08 0.00 0.00

Replacement value takes into account performance uncertainty and availabilty of week-to-week alternatives; True Point Value takes into account injury likelihood, bye weeks, and other players on your roster.

Your Team Positional Breakdown
Position Picks (Avg#) Draft Capital Spent (Rank) True Point Value (Rank) Grade
QB 2 (1.92) 11.16 (11) 18.19 (10) B+
RB 7 (4.92) 180.67 (2) 155.97 (5) D
WR 3 (4.67) 122.13 (6) 144.26 (6) A-
TE 2 (1.92) 38.85 (4) 28.92 (7) C-

Draft Capital is the value of any given pick in the draft, as measured by looking at the True Point Value of the best player available in that slot. The Draft Grade for each position is determined by looking at how much value you added given what you spent in Draft Capital.

All Team Positional Breakdown
Team QB RB WR TE
Big Ole TD’s B+ A C B+
Crooked Senators B+ D A+ A+
Discount Belichick A+ A+ D C-
Empire State Furry Ferrets B+ D A- C-
HoboKnights D- C+ C+ C+
Hopelawn Maulers C B B A+
Hudson JizzWax B B- B+ B+
Miami Hustling C+ B+ A- A+
NJ Gunslingers D C+ B+ C
North Bergen Desnudas C+ B- B B
Suck My WoodHead B- B- A B+
You Bet Thank You B+ C+ B B-

Paragraphs in italics are unique to your version of your league’s Draft Recap.

 

To respond directly to your league feed, simply reply-all to this email or visit your league – http://dirtyafl.football.cbssports.com/content/fantasy_journalist_draft_recap/3242

Playoffs?! Don’t talk about playoffs! Are you kidding me? Playoffs?! I’m just hoping we can win a game, another game!

9 Dec

GM’s:

I would like to congratulate the following teams for clinching their division title and securing their playoff spot.

 

B1G-1 Division Champions – Empire State Furry Ferrets

Magnum East Division Champions – Crooked Senators

Willy West Division Champions – NJ Gunslingers

Wrap Dillz Division Champions – Hopelawn Maulers

 

Playoffs:

Furry Ferrets (10-3)  – Following the DAFL draft, experts predicted the Ferrets to end the season as the 11th ranked team. Selecting Adrian Peterson was a big gamble following his iSpank scandal. Losing their 1st game to defending DAFL Champs, Las Desnudas, only strengthened the expert’s prediction of a potential dismal season. They are the 2nd highest scoring team in the league, #2 in breakdown rating, and #2 in Power ranks. Impressive considering they are in the #1 Division, producing a League Championship 3 years straight.  Back in September, Jadi and Kimberly were seen laughing at the end of draft. Making fun of everyone’s picks including Gore, the Ferret’s 3rd pick.

Hopelawn Mawlers (10-3) – GM has the ability to draft a winning team via his cell phone every year. Pound for Pound, GM Santiago is the best GM in the DAFL. More than any other owner, the Mawlers have put up a perfect lineups 3 times this year. Their first rounder, Andrew Luck, was considered #1 quarterback going into the draft. His luck says otherwise and his fantasy points are way below what was predicted. The Mauler’s QB situation is volatile at best. The city of Hopelawn will ride the coattails of Winston which might be riskier than having unsafe sex with Kimberly.

NJ Gunslingers (9-4) – The Gunslingers return to the DAFL in 2015 proves anyone can take time off and still be a winner in this league. The most vocal of all the division winners, Mad Mike has been renamed to Daddy Jadi. The Gunslingers are led by Demaryuis Thomas and Eric Decker at WR. Their #1 draft pick Matt Forte has been plagued with injuries but their backups have picked up the pieces. Although they are the 3rd seeded team, experts predict they will go down in to Balmoris and his Big Ole Man Tities…Down goes Kramer. 3 of their losses suffered during the season were against teams with a combined record of 13-23. The Gunslingers have scored a total of 1319 this year and are ranked #5 in the power rankings.

Crooked Senators (8-5)  – The 4th seeded Senators are moonwalking into the Playoffs. Mr. Marenco proves that you can win with injured players on your starting lineup. You can bypass the fact that they are in a “Sisters of Mary” type division, worst in DAFL history with a combined record of 14-22 and lowest combined Points scored at 3258. You can ignore the fact that Wilson is the starting QB and that LeGarrette Blount is their starting RB. Their 2nd highest scorer in their team is their DST. Experts predict the senators will be eliminated in the 1st round. Once you are in, you have a shot. Being an underdog has never bother Julio and apparently this holds true with the voters of North Bergen.

 

WILDCARDS:

Suck My Woodhead (8-5) – Considered by “ALL” experts as the most dangerous team in the DAFL. They lead everyone in Power Ranking and have an unprecedented #1 Breakdown rank with a record of 96-36. These GloryHole advocates are the highest scorer in the league at 1350 points. The fact that they are a wildcard team is a mystery. NJ Gunslingers should consider themselves lucky on this one. We expect them to cruise over the Senators in the first round.

Big Ole TDs (7-6) – Win Fatty Win. Coach Balls sneaks his way into the playoffs by beating division rival coach Reyes. Allot was at stake between these 2 lovebirds. All the DAFL experts agreed that statistically, BOT is the better team and rightfully made it in. They are the 2nd highest scoring team in the DAFL but their downfall is the Points against, they are 2nd in the league when it comes to getting smacked up by opponents. BOT won the DAFL Championship in 2013 and were 2nd place losers in 2014. Coach Hurtado and his fat avengers have lots to prove.

 

LOSER BOWL aka iSuck Playoffs:

North Bergen Desnudas (6-7) – The defending DAFL champions, Las Desnudas aka the Naked Kabana Boys, missed the playoffs by 10 points. It is a game of inches and in this case, Hugo and his band of naked seamen were short by 3600 inches. Manny Torres has expressed some relief, the only back-to-back DAFL Champion will keep his historical bookmark intact for now. Rumors have circulated that the Desnudas are researching a new franchise name. Our sources have heard the following options, “Amor de Raton” , “Sin Condom”, and “The North Bergen Settlers”. Now the Settlers are not because of any Pilgrim type crap, for name reference please see this: http://www.hulu.com/watch/879953

HoboKnights (5-8) –  Not even an act of the gods can save the Hoboken franchise. Commissioner Sierchio has been quite the entire season. To make ends meet, Kimberly started working the night shift at the McDonalds on Time Square. They look to regain some honor by making a run at the Toilet Bowl $20 prize this year.

Miami Hustling (4-9) – Guess the experts were wrong about the Hustlers. DAFL experts predicted they would be the team to beat but in fact were bitch slapped more often than not. In Juan’s defense, he had a good bunch playing for his franchise but it is hard to win when everyone outscores you. They have the league’s highest PSA (points scored against) them at 1361.

Hudson JizzWax (4-9) – It’s not easy being Jadi. The most hated owner has been quite throughout the year. We miss Jadi’s obscene articles about Cumberly and his comeback remarks. Did he really just say that? It has been a very quiet and boring DAFL season. The Jizz have never won a DAFL championship, never held the trophy, and have never been to Disneyland. The mighty Jizz lost their cock pump in 2015 but still have a chance to make something happen in the Loser Bowl.

Discount Belichick (4-9) – Once a dynasty team, now they push carts for a living. Considering his running back squad, Manny did an OK job winning four tough games. However, it is hard to win when your RB’s are averaging 6 points per game. Perhaps Manny should have taken some notes from Julio and autodrafted his way into the playoffs.

You Bet Thank You (3-10) – This has been a heart breaking year for Henry. Perhaps it was his new job at Best Buy/ Geek Squad that took all his time? Perhaps Jadi rubbed some of his bad luck on Henry’s lips? This could explain Henry’s attitude, he did show some signs of aggression this season with his Jadi-like comments. Whatever the reason, you can’t win if you are not scoring more than your opponent. YBTY is the lowest scoring team in the league. Good Luck in Best Buy!

 

It was a great season. If you owe money, please pay the $140 entry fee immediately. I hate asking for the money. If you are not sure on your financial status, please click on the finances tab. It is up to date.

Commissioner,

JP

 

2015 DAFL League Address

11 Jun

Greetings Fellow GM’s:

After an exciting 2014 season resulting in a Desnudas league championship, I bring you the 2015 State of the League Address.

First thing first, if you plan on leaving the DAFL, please advise ASAP so we can fill the spot.


[DRAFT]

This is up in the air. Last year some of us met at Juice’s apartment. Kimberly brought some delicious mortadella and motz which must become a standard

 

Proposed Draft Dates

MONDAY, AUGUST 31st @ 7:30 PM

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 3rd @ 7:30 PM

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8th   @ 7:30 PM

 

Please respond on which day DOES NOT work for you. Once I hear from everyone I will choose the best date that works for the majority of GM’s.

 

Note that the NFL season begins on Thursday, September 10th…..Pittsburgh @ New England.

 

[BUDGET]

Assuming that Kimberly’s food stamps are still coming in, our budget this year’s budget will be slightly higher.

 

DAFL Flat Fee:                                 $120

Sportsline League Renewal:       $149.99 ($12.50 per team)

Toilet Bowl Payout :                      $20            ($1.67 per team)

Other (DAFL Bank):                         $60.00     ($5.00 per team)

————————————————————————————–

Total Entry Fee – rounding to     $140

 

140 x 12 =                         $1,440.00

– 149.99

–   20.00

–   60.00

————————————————————————————–

Total payout:                                  $1,210,00

 

75% or $907.50 to the DAFL Champion rounding to $905

25% or $302.07 to the runner-up rounding to $300

***note: if anyone has problems with the increase, please let me know. If multiple owners complain, I will adjust accordingly***

 

[RULES]

Rule Change: DRAFT ORDER

This year the draft re-ordering will only be hit once. Received lots of complaints about the 3x order. However, having an eyewitness while the commissioner does it is still mandatory.

Last year we did an experiment by charging $1.00 extra per transaction, ie waiver wire/trades, etc. Although there was no charge for the transactions, the extra amount gained was in the significant. The extra money can be used to increase the winnings, spread some money back to division champs, or whatever. More importantly, it will add a level of maturity to our waiver wire process. If you want a player bad enough, it may cost you $1.

 I propose we add a small fee to the waiver wire only. We could vote on implementing it as well as agree on the amount. Fee can be anywhere from .25¢ to $1.00 per waiver wire move.

 Any questions on this or any of the rules let me know or you can check all the rules, scoring system and the DAFL Constitution on the site under the League Home link then League details link on the drop down.

 

[DRAFT ORDER]

I will be purchasing the league for the 2015 season and will be sending out a draft as soon as I have another member from the league next to me. I will click the “reset draft order” button only once so the first notice you get will be the official draft order.

I have updated your team’s trophy case for 2014’s division and league titles. Go to the League Home tab then the History tab then Years tab to click the specific year you would like to review. The site has also updated league records which you can also find in the History tab.

Email me with any input or ideas you may have, or remind me of something I forgot to cover and let me know what draft day DOES NOT work for you.

 

Thank you,

 

JP

DAFL Commissioner

GM – The Furriest of the Ferrets